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<title>Why Jaskier doesn't age by xt1me</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24477235">Why Jaskier doesn't age</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/xt1me/pseuds/xt1me'>xt1me</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Witcher (TV), Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Crack, Future Fic, Gen, Immortal Jaskier | Dandelion</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 02:54:16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>909</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24477235</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/xt1me/pseuds/xt1me</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Inspired by a bunch of tumblr posts about the differ ways Jaskier could be made immortal</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>122</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Why Jaskier doesn't age</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Full disclosure, I have not seen any of the Nexflix series of 'The Witcher'. Nor have I played any or the games nor read any of the books.<br/>I stumbled across a fic on tumblr &amp; fell down the rabbit hole.</p>
<p>No pairing but you could take it as Geralt/Yennefer, Geralt/Jaskier or Geralt/Jaskier/Yennefer if you want to.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Geralt eyed Yennefer and Jaskier wearily. Both of them said that they were on friendly terms these days but that didn’t stop the catty remarks whenever they met.</p>
<p><br/>“Why Bard, I must say whatever dye you use works wonders. You can’t see any grey hair at all.”</p>
<p>“Ha! I’ll have you know this is all natural. Besides, I’m sure whatever grey hair I’ll have will simply make me look more dashing in my elder years. Don’t you agree Geralt?”</p>
<p>“Hmm.”</p>
<p>Ignoring Geralt, Yennefer continued needling Jaskier. “You’re elder years? That’s not too long away surely.”</p>
<p>“Are you fishing sorceress?” he teased, “You don’t find me trying to work out your age. Besides, I stopped keeping track after I hit forty. Too depressing.”</p>
<p>“What?” Yennefer asked, startled. “You don’t look forty.”</p>
<p>“My dear, was that a compliment?” Jaskier batted his eyelashes at the sorceress.</p>
<p>“No.” she said flatly. “How old are you really Jaskier?”</p>
<p>“Ha, sounds like a complement to me. Admit it, you like me.”</p>
<p>Yennefer simply glared at the bard. Snorting, Jaskier waved a hand dismissively. “It’s no great secret. I’m, humm, lets see,” he stared off into space, muttering slightly as he thought. “If that was last year… &amp; that was 5 years before … and then…” He stopped, eyes blinking back into focus, “Wait a minute that’s not right. What year is it?”</p>
<p>Yennefer told him.<br/>Silently he counted on his fingers.</p>
<p>“Oh hold on. I refuse to believe I’m sixty-two.”</p>
<p>“You’re joking.”</p>
<p>He counted it up again.</p>
<p>“Fuck. I’m sixty-two, when did that happen?”</p>
<p>“You mean to tell my you’ve never noticed you stopped aging.”</p>
<p>“Well nether of you noticed either!”</p>
<p>“I thought you were wasting your money on beauty products. And you can’t expect Geralt to pick up on something like that.”</p>
<p>“Hmm.”</p>
<p>“How did this happen?” Yennefer demanded.</p>
<p>“I don’t know!” yelped Jaskier.</p>
<p>“Did you drink any strange potions on any of your little adventures?”</p>
<p>“Now that’s a terrible thing to ask a person.”</p>
<p>“You can’t remember can you.”</p>
<p>“Well no, but I defy you to remember everything you’ve drunk in the past, apparently sixty-two years. Oh,” he said delightedly, “maybe I’m cursed.”</p>
<p>“You’re not cursed.” Sighed Geralt, “And it’s not magic, I’d know.” he gestured vaguely at his medallion, “Maybe you have elven blood or something.”</p>
<p>“It’s a nice thought but I’m afraid I look far too like both my parents for that to be true. Though I did used to pretend as a child.”</p>
<p>“Perhaps a grandparent?” mused Yennefer.</p>
<p>“Unlikely. I had to learn off the family history and let me tell you, that was a boring slog. Nothing even remotely interesting. And I have no interest in going back to the homestead to double check. I haven’t been home since my sister passed. You know,” he said thinking, “looking back that should have really clued me in to this lack of aging thing.”</p>
<p>Yennefer reached out and grabbed Jaskier’s head, ignoring his wild flailing.</p>
<p>“Oh stay still Bard and let me have a look.” She peered deeply into the bard, hands thrumming with power. “Humm not a curse, no unusual ancestry I can detect, but there’s something. It looks almost. Devine.” She let his Jaskier go narrowing her eyes at him. “Did you do any favours for the gods?”</p>
<p>“Religious orders are notoriously tight-fisted. Any Bard worth their salt never bothers with them. Let them stick with their choirs.” He said dismissively. Then a thought struck him. “But-” He drew out the word.</p>
<p>“So you did do something.” Yennefer prompted when it looked like Jaskier wasn’t going to continue fast enough.</p>
<p>“Well,” he said as he tried to tease out an old memory into the present, “there was something, quite a while back now. Nothing big. There was some festival or other in a village I was passing through. I thought I’d take some time to avail myself of the free food and provide some light entertainment. You know how sometimes local traditions have someone dressed up as a historical or mythical figure to lead the dance or give gifts or what not. Well, this one had someone dressed up as some local god. I can’t remember the name. They were incredibly gorgeous though. I remember they asked me what I’d liked as a blessing.”</p>
<p>“You didn’t.”</p>
<p>“I didn’t actually, I do remember all the trouble with the djinn. I might not have thought they were anything more than a local, but I wasn’t taking any risks. I simply asked to spend the night in their company. Did I mention they were gorgeous?”</p>
<p>“They? Were they a man or a woman?”</p>
<p>“Both, neither, I’m not sure what they were. It seemed rude to ask when there were far more interesting things to discuss. If you get my meaning?”</p>
<p>“You slept with them and you still don’t know. Just how dunk were you?”</p>
<p>“Not that drunk. But if you really want to know they had the most amazing-”</p>
<p>“<em>Jaskier</em>!” Geralt interrupted, not want to be subjected to yet another ode to some lover’s genitalia.</p>
<p>“Spoilsport.” but the bard thankfully continued with his tale, “I seem to remember them mentioning something about the gift of love requiring a gift in return but I admit to being somewhat distracted at the time.” He sighed, forlornly. “It really was a wonderful night.”</p>
<p>“Anyone else fucking a random stranger would end up with the pox. But somehow you end up with immortality.”</p>
<p>“Huh, I guess I did.”</p>
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